Facebook Hates Your Computer

No reason in particular, but today I wanted to vent on my buddy Facebook. To be true, Facebook is no MySpace, which not only can throw your computer into a crashing halt just to log in, but may also fry other applicances in the process.

But Facebook, used by millions almost everyday, is surprisingly unstable. And when I want to update my status with “I’m standing right next to Michael Douglas at the Airport! FTW” it’s no good 3 hours later. And that’s not even trying to upload my cameraphone picture of it.

Here’s my Top Reasons why Facebook may be its own worst enemy.

1) Back in the late 1990s I used a program called AIM Instant Messenger. When I received a message, my keyboard did not grind to a stop and crash my browser. Not to mention multiple conversations. Receiving a message on Facebook Chat is like trying to open Adobe Photoshop CS4 on a 486 computer. With it unplugged.

2) Speaking of Facebook Chat, I know of no other program that can jump into my other tabs and stop my YouTube videos from playing with every “pop.” Yes, I am watching last week’s episode of Gossip Girl while I’m talking to you.

3) Maybe have the option to select a different sound when receiving messages, or even an actual sound. Turn your volume up loud enough to actually hear that little “pop” and let’s hope you don’t forget to crank it back down before you listen to iTunes. This will be your third noise violation this month.

4) Probably enough about Facebook chat, so another big issue is the addition of a “dislike button.” It will need to be disabled on my account, but I’d like to thumbs down your wall posts please.

5) Cool, let’s look at your photo album. Weird, it looks like you took a lot of pictures of a blue status bar.

6) Clicking “close” on windows appears to not mean what I think it means. No problem, I’ll just browse around that little guy and end up refreshing to a blank page over and over.

7) FarmVille. I see some of my friends have been playing it. 10 minutes of scrolling, I think I saw an actual status message in there. Would scroll back up but it’s loading more posts. Fingers crossed I don’t receive a chat.

8 ) Sorry, an Error Has Occurred. We’re Working to Get it Fixed as Soon as We Can. You and I both know neither one of us has any idea what the hell just happened. I’ll just reboot.

9) Facebook for the iPhone is the best way around many of these problems. Unless you want to watch a Facebook video, view a link in under 5 minutes, or plan on using your battery afterwards.

10) View News Feed? Awesome, a post from 3 weeks ago at the top. I try to remember Live Feed=about 80% of what people post showing up and News Feed = randomly pulled from any time period for no discernible reason.

11) If you unfriend me, I need to be notified. If you poke me, I’d rather not be.